HOW TO BE A COMPLETE BASTARD
(Virgin Games)


Dear Games Player,

I am a Complete Bastard and now is your chance to learn how from a
real expert. Members of the SPG, elected tory MPs and Astra drivers
don't need this.
However, if you've always wanted to be the sort of person who loosens
the screws from the handles in disabled toilets or sets up a business
marketing Space Shuttle Jigsaw Puzzles, this game is just what you're
looking for. If you've already read my book carefully then you're well
on your way to being a Complete Bastard and if you haven't get out and
buy it NOW ... I need the cash.
It's basically pretty easy to blag your way into a yuppie party -then
all you have to do is make all the invited guests leave and you can
have the place to yourself. Of course by then you won't want to stay
there because the house will be completely wrecked - but who cares?
Yes - that's what being a Complete Bastard is all about.

Have fun you half-baked Bastard,

Ade

SEXY ADE
Adrian Edmondson BA(stard)



Game design and programming by Sentient Software.
Based on the book "How to be a Complete Bastard"
(c) 1986 by Adrian Edmondson, Mark Leigh, Mike Lepine. A Virgin Book.



SCREEN DISPLAY

Thee main display features unique "Bastavision" which allows you to
see each room from every angle. The screen is spit in two. Follow your
direction using the top section. Left and right take you from side to
side and up and down take you to the back and the front of the room
respectively. Pressing 1 rotates the view in the top window by 90
degrees.

The lower section allows you to watch the activity from another angle.
Press 2 to rotate view. This section also displays text when you do
something.

Bastavision is a little disorientating at first but the secret is to
watch your progress on the top section and use the bottom section to
view the room from all the other angles, thus revealing any other
furniture or doorways within the room so you can investigate
everything.

To the left you will spot a Weeeometer and Drunkometer. Drinking
increases the marker on your Weeeometer and when you hit the top of
the scale you'd better go pretty soon, preferably before some dribbly
yuppie gets in there and locks the door, though, as a proper Bastard,
you can probably find alternative places to relieve yourself.
Alcoholic drinks raise the Drunkometer, which indicates several stages
of drunkedness. Some of your Bastardly activities can only be carried
out when you're fairly sober and others only when you are at pickled
newt stage.

To the right are the tasteful Fartometer and Smellometer scales.
Eating anything builds up your fart power, press F when you've built
up enough to release a truly fruity raspberry. The Smellometer
represents your general body odour, which all Bastards keep as high as
possible for maximum offence, and farting is one of the good ways to
keep this high.

However if all the levels are at the top at the same time Dire
Consequences can result!

In the centre are your Bastard Points. These go up and sometimes down
depending on how Bastardly your actions are. Anything wimpy or girlie
will lose you points. Underneath is the phrase COMPLETE-BASTARD.
Extremely Bastardly activities that cause a guest to leave will light
up a letter permanently, less Bastardly deeds may only light up a
letter for a short period. To finish the game all Sixteen characters
must be illuminated at one time.


TO PLAY

You must find objects by searching everything. You may carry a maximum
of two objects. To search, get close to an object and turn to face it.
While continuing to push in that direction with the joystick or keys,
press FIRE. UP and DOWN allow you to select an option, FIRE to choose.
Select further options this way and FIRE when you've finished.

To examine the objects you are carrying press FIRE and look in your
pockets. The only way to get rid of an object is to use it or put it
outside in the dustbin. However, binning means you can't retrieve your
object for further use.

When you are carrying objects, options open up to you that were not
available before, sometimes immediately. Sometimes you must find
another object before you get further options and sometimes you need
to corner a guest for a "chat" (well, even Bastards must circulate at
parties). Some options will only be revealed when your alcoholic
content is at the right level. You can only use your objects this way
(i.e. through options offered), though you can examine your pockets at
any time.

To corner a guest you must rudely bump into them and block their way.
Let's face it, it's the only way anyone would talk to you! Make sure
you are in line with them and at the same level in the room. Use the
lower section of the screen to help you track them down. Push or key
towards them and press FIRE. A successful encounter will reveal their
name and your possible options


HINTS AND TIPS

You must experiment with the objects you find; a true Bastard should
have no trouble devising ways of using most household objects. Try
using objects in both likely and unlikely places. Just like real life
you do run the risk of killing yourself or getting locked away for a
long time if you behave in a way that is more self destructive or
psychopathic than Bastardly!

Unlike real life though there is an unlimited supply of booze in the
fridge at this party. There's also unlimited black coffee somewhere in
the kitchen which will help you to sober up for the prank that needs a
steady hand, not to mention the infinite pot of curry, any Bastard
knows what that does.

Do make sure you have searched everything in the room; use different
views to check. You will have to make a map of Chez Yuppie as there
are many rooms and areas not immediately apparent. Viewing rooms from
all angles often reveals a doorway you cannot see from another
direction.

Some examples of Bastardly activities are managing to make a custard
pie and completely ruining someone's wonderful party outfit that Daddy
treated them to; they have to leave once you've done that. However, if
you just put a flowerpot on their head they'll only leave for a short
while. Messy things are very annoying to well-dressed types, and for
some reason the boys hate being sprayed with anything girlie (though
they're all girlies anyway as far as Ade's concerned).

Use a particularly wholesome fart to clear the room for certain
surprises you leave for people. Experiment with your drinking levels,
some pranks need a stone cold sober Bastard and others require a
very-pissed one!


TO BE A COMPLETE BASTARD

To load Tape
LOAD "" and press RETURN
Follow the on-screen instructions to select joystick type and keyboard and
to start the game.

Q = UP
A = DOWN
O = LEFT
P = RIGHT
SPACE = FIRE
F = FART
1 = ROTATE VIEW IN TOP WINDOW
2 = ROTATE VIEW IN BOTTOM WINDOW
G and ENTER = QUIT