| Game Manual: | N/A | | Game Music: | N/A |
| Euro Soccer is a pile of steaming poo, you've got more control over the population of rabbit colony than the ball in this game. It's often a case of ‘press the button and gamble away' with regards to passing, as the ball always travels to the nearest player you're facing, not matter how far away he is. One moment it'll travel about half a metre and the next it'll be right up the other end of the pitch. 'Playability' is obviously a word that isn't in Flair's dictionary. The players are uncontrollably slow and they often perform a number of stupid automatic moves, like chesting the ball away if it arrives at shoulder height, which is worrying. Computer controlled players have a disturbing habit of running away from the ball whenever it nears them, making the defence look like stupid and they generally act with little intelligence. Aftertouch, diving headers and bicycle kicks are about as existent as Macaulay Culkin's talent - the entire match consists of milling about, attempting a few 'graphically-challenged' sliding tackles and running with the ball as if it's nailed to your athlete's foot. Even the crowd sound as if they're embarrassed to be in a game this bad - all they seem to be able to muster up is a monotone "Uuuuuuurh!" all the bloody time. |
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