| Game Manual: | N/A | | Game Music: | N/A |
It was a dark and terrible night. Rain lashed on Dirk Bronz-Torso's windscreen as he pulled up onto the drive of his Fitness Club parking. But as he opened his front door, he was met by a horror of terrible proportions; for there, on the doormat, in all its pale and oblong livery was a "letter"! But perhaps worse than this terrifying apparition was what lurked within this plastic windowed horror. As Dirk's trembling hands opened it he read a message of pure unbridled grotesqueness...
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"Mr. A.B.Beast" - Large Black Castle with Crooked Towers And Lightning, On Top Of An Impossibly Steep Hill
Shepherds Bush - LONDON - WC 4U2P
Dear Sir,
It has come to our attention that you have not paid your Gas Bill. Failure to pay within the next 24 hours will result in your being transported into the Crissy Crossy Lines Dimension to fight millions of evil and twisted aliens.
Yours faithfully, Alien Bongo Beast. (Head of Bill Repayments)
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Reeling from this terrible portent of awesome doom, Dirk staggered towards the kitchen. As he pondered on what to do next he opened the Fridge door. Even Dirk's lightning fast reflexes could not save him from the next terrifying event in this tangled web of horrors. For from the fridge leapt, in all its purple magnitude, an Axe Wielding Aubergine which, with a blood curdling scream, hacked off all his limbs in one fell swoop. Oh what a diabolical twist of fate, for, despite being weakened by the loss of some 40 pints of blood, Dirk's ultra-fast mind instantly reach the mind numbing conclusion that, due to his grotesque injuries, he would not be able to pay his Gas Bill! And so it came to pass that Dirk Bronz-Torso found himself in the Crissy Crossy Lines Dimension, preparing to engage the hoards of evil and twisted aliens in a final bloody conflict, to defeat the evil Alien Bongo Beast (Head of Bill Repayments). "Wait a minute," said Dirk as he was about to be pounced on by the marauding enemy, "I don't use Gas!" |
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